Monday, December 12, 2011

All I Want for Christmas (Is Not a Macy's Commercial Disguised as a Mariah/Bieber Music Video)

The holiday season is upon us! Do you have a writer in your life that is in desperate need of a present? Here are some ideas for you!

1. This:
It is a well-known fact that writers like Snuggies. How else are we supposed to sit on the couch and type without our arms getting cold?

With this Snuggie, we can not only stay warm but feel like Wonder Woman as we get tortured by our own various neuroses, awkward sentences and characters who refuse to do what we want them to. I am writer, hear me roar. No, seriously, villain, hear me roar and STOP FINDING EXCUSES FOR NOT GETTING IN THE HERO'S WAY.

2. While we're on the subject of bedding:

So, apparently, this is something called the boyfriend pillow. I guess it's supposed to feel like you're cuddling up to your honey?

Romance writers can certainly use it for inspiration. Or mystery/thriller authors can use it for its semblance to a severed body part. I also like the Dexter-esque white gloves. It's a nice touch.

The rest of us can simply use it to sleep. That's that thing where you spend like 6-8 hours of your day not worrying about a deadline or a beta reader or a character arc.

3. This set of three posters:

Always good to remember as a writer  especially when the last chapter you just reread seems to signify the end of your grasp of the English language and plausible plot developments.

For those times when nothing short of magic will help salvage your WIP. Also good for torturing yourself with the realization that the Harry Potter books are so freakin' amazing. And what you just wrote...yeah...

I hate Dawn. That witch.


Obviously perfect for the aforementioned mystery authors but, trust me, any writer has someone they will need to pretend is this therapeutic pen holder that they can use to hold their pen. They can use it to hold their pen over and over again.


Feeling guilty about the whole pen incident? Tell it to Leonard Cohen, Sylvia Plath and Edgar Allan Poe. As crummy or sad as you may be feeling about anything, these three adorable pals can out-morose you anytime. Think of them as your own glum barber-shop quartet! (Morrissey was crying in the bathroom when this photo was taken.)


  1. I want a Jeff Buckley cover for that Leonard Cohen figure!

  2. I have had my eye on that pen holder for quite a while! It's phenomenal, however I think I might get some bizarro looks if I bring that into my office.