Monday, January 23, 2012

Is This a Wedding or a Crime Scene?

My life has totally changed since I got engaged. By which I, of course, mean that 6 out of 6 Facebook ads on my sidebar are now wedding-related at all times.

I also get dozens of emails and even stalkery phone calls chock full of deals on everything from bridal gowns to bridal favors. The word bridal is sorta haunting me.

And then, last week, I got this in the mail mail (remember that service?).

At first glance I thought, okay. A postcard for a florist.

At second glance I thought, hmmm, that's weird that they would choose this photo to display their wares as the picture completely blows out all of the details in the white flowers.

And at third glance, I realized...holy mother of Kate Middleton, that bride is wearing ginormous black gloves to hold that bouquet.

I am posting this again in case you are too lazy to scroll up. You're welcome.
To which I, of course, must come up with a compelling scenario, such as:

1. In a sinister twist of events, the bride already knows this wedding will turn into a crime scene.

2. It's a real DIY wedding and the bride must follow up this photo session by doing the dishes.

3. The bride is a germaphobe but white gloves are just so expected.
4. The rates for a January wedding by the lake were just much cheaper. Deal with it.

5. Vera introduced the driving gloves/wedding gown look at her last show, dahling. Don't you know anything?

What do you think is the story behind this baffling creative photo?


  1. Dominatrix bride, who thought carrying a bouquet of whips and chains would be a bit over the top?

  2. The bride is an O.J. Simpson fan, obv.

  3. The bride is an O.J. Simpson fan, obv.

  4. The bride is an O.J. Simpson fan, obv.

  5. It's an Underworld wedding and she's Persephone or something? I know how we both love pomegranates...